sounds like your sysctl.conf needs tweaking? have you tried something like this 
on both sides? 

 kernel.msgmnb = 65536 
 kernel.msgmax = 65536 
 kernel.shmmax = 68719476736 
 kernel.shmall = 4294967296 

 # long fat pipes 
 net.core.wmem_max = 8388608 
 net.core.rmem_max = 8388608

Yes, I tried to tweak kernel first with no effect. BTW wouldn't badly tuned 
network stack affect other programs such as iperf and ssh?

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