----- Original Message -----
From: "Jerry Lee" <jeromeleo AT EARTHLINK DOT NET>
To: <OBLATEFORUM-L AT CHARITYCHANNEL DOT COM>
Sent: Wednesday, April 26, 2006 9:06 AM
Subject: [OBLATEFORUM-L] Holy Rule for Apr. 26


> +PAX
>
> Prayers, please, for the happy death and eternal rest of John Baerst, many
years ago a cleric at St. Leo Abbey. He left after Vatican II, married
Allison in the Church and raised two children, Virginia and Benedict.
Prayers for them and all who mourn him.
> Prayers for someone single, depressed, with no health insurance, large
post-op medical debt and unable to work at present , whose job position has
been "deleted" and no income for the past 7 weeks. Prayers for Patty,
frequent migraines, diabetes, high blood pressure and back pain, now also
depressed and anxious about being denied a mortgage, for her husband and all
their family. Lord, help us all as You know and will. God's will is best.
All is mercy and grace. God is never absent, praise Him! JL
>
> April 26, August 26, December 26
> Chapter 68: If a Sister Is Commanded to Do Impossible Things
>
> If it happens
> that difficult or impossible tasks are laid on a sister,
> let her nevertheless receive the order of the one in authority
> with all meekness and obedience.
> But if she sees that the weight of the burden
> altogether exceeds the limit of her strength,
> let her submit the reasons for her inability
> to the one who is over her
> in a quiet way and at an opportune time,
> without pride, resistance, or contradiction.
> And if after these representations
> the Superior still persists in her decision and command,
> let the subject know that this is for her good,
> and let her obey out of love,
> trusting in the help of God.
>
> REFLECTION
>
> Buried in chapters whose names may throw us off there are usually
> gems, one just has to dig a bit more carefully. Granted, impossible
> tasks are rarely asked of anyone these days, much less Oblates who
> live outside the monastery, but there is a beautiful method given
> here which has the widest of applications.
>
> The method given here for approaching one's superior is a masterpiece
> of crisis intervention and prevention for almost any situation in
> life:
>
> "...in a quiet way and at an opportune time, without pride,
> resistance, or contradiction."
>
> We ought to carve that on the walls of every mediation center in the
> world, on the doors to every marriage counselor and above every
> complaint desk (or, as they euphemize them these days, "Customer
> Service," but what's in a name?)
>
> Look at what is called for here: composure and calm, timing, respect
> for the other person (Gandhi would even say love for the foe,) non-
> violence and non-contentiousness. Use this approach with
> disagreements and many of them will melt away. One reason Gandhi's
> non-violence worked was that he employed all of these things, the
> opponent was never denied her worth or dignity. When his followers
> pared the list, they failed. This is the recipe for lasting results,
> not for a temporary subjugation.
>
> Jesus, of course, gives us a three step process to redress wrongs: go
> to the person alone, if that doesn't work go with a witness, if even
> that fails, then haul them up before the whole assembly. We can
> consider ourselves absolved if we follow all those steps and may feel
> justified, but if we undertake ANY of those steps, especially the
> first one, without the calm prescribed by St. Benedict, our effort is
> all but guaranteed to fail. We can sputter out: "I went to her and I
> got NOWHERE!" Ah, yes, but HOW did you go? "He wouldn't even listen
> to the whole community!" Neither would you, if made to feel that
> small and worthless in public.
>
> Very often our manner of dealing with others says a great deal about
> how we esteem ourselves. A balanced dignity and self-love is shown in
> the Holy Rule's approach. It will go a longer way toward ending
> conflict than a "wronged prima donna" move.
>
> Watch how people fight and it will be easy to see that many consider any
> perceived slight or offense against themselves to be THE original sin.
Never
> mind that the "offender" might have meant nothing of the sort, or acted in
genuine
> ignorance or innocence. Forget all about that little item of being morally
obliged
> to think the best of others. No quarter, no mercy!
>
> Sigh... Give people like that a lot of room. Being wrong is not a capital
offense,
> everybody does it at one time or another. People who demonstrate anything
else
> by their reactions damage their own standing in the group and rightly so.
>
> Remember that every disagreement hurts the whole group. A family at
> dinner with two not speaking is a tense affair. You cannot calm a
> child by saying "This is between your Father and me! It has nothing
> to do with you." Because it does, it really does. A community in choir
> after a huge blow-up between two members is not an exquisite taste of
> mystical prayer. Everybody suffers. That's why fixing these fender-
> benders is so important and why St. Benedict gave us a way that is so
> very likely to achieve results.
>
> Now THAT'S creative peacemaking!
>
> Love and prayers,
> Jerome, OSB
> http://www.stmarysmonastery.org
> jeromeleo AT earthlink DOT net
> Petersham, MA
>
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